September 25, 2017

On Good Medicine and Halloween

I’m finally, finally back to normal. I think. Trying not to jinx it by saying so. No more scans. No more needles. No more minor fixes and new medicines. No more puncturing my insides. For now.

I traded into more normal living just in time for my mom to go get large metal posts screwed into her jaw. Any dental surgery that requires a bone drill and more than 20 stitches should probably be classified as for-realsies surgery. So I’ve been managing THAT in a complete roll reversal where I’m now making her smoothies and mashed potatoes, as well as trying to introduce real food back into my own diet so that I can regain more higher brain function. I’m back up to about 60 oz of really strong tea per day just to keep functioning. Usually that amount of caffeine gives me the sweaty jitters. Now I can’t get it in me fast enough to avoid Afternoon Airhead Syndrome.

My days have been been as follows:

  • 0600 – Get up, make tea. Make morning smoothie. Curl around tea and internet until tea makes me a functional human.
  • 0730 – Last minute panic for work. What am I wearing? Where’s my bag and badge and lunch?
  • 0900 – Arrive at work.Check through email. Put out fires.
  • 1000 – Make second cup of tea using the tea bucket.

Behold the Tea Bucket, 20 oz deep

  • 1200 – Lunch at desk. Rejoice in real meat and veggies. This joy never gets old.
  • 1230 – Post-lunch coma threatens. Fight it off with walking swiftly around the building a few times.
  • 1400 – The walks are no longer working. Realize I’m seriously considering how comfortably I could nap in the cubby beneath my desk. Contemplate drastic measures. If it’s really bad, knock back an energy drink. If I’m still semi-functional, a third Tea Bucket.
  • 1700 – Fall asleep on the train home in spite of my best efforts. With luck, get startled awake by random loud train people before I miss my stop. If not, get poked by train security when they reach the end of the line. Realize that train security must have days where they poke the prone person in the back of the train and they don’t wake up. Feel sad for train security.
  • 1900 – Try to prod brain into creative functions in order to complete writing goals for the day. Is there a new paragraph? Huzzah, progress!
  • 2100 – Brain no longer functioning. Time for internet puppies, then bed.

The best solution in the fight against the sleepies has been more solid food. Especially meat and vegetables, and lots and lots of water. Salads and stir fries have been my panacea. I still have to keep the fats low, or my liver aches like a broken tooth all night, but overall my diet is pretty normal.

So, writing is creeeeeeeping along at a maddeningly slow but steady pace. I can’t dwell on how slow it’s going because my brain just can’t do any better right now, and if I do dwell I’ll start throwing things in a fit of pique. So when my brain is too tired to even, I distract myself with the fact that FALL IS HERE and that means all of my favorite things: Sweaters, Hot Cups of Tea, Wood Fires in the Fireplace, Apples, Family Gatherings (where we feast on homemade breads and stews and squashy things), and HALLOWEEN.

Which is on a Tuesday this year. As an adult with questionable energy capacity, enjoying a late night celebration on a weekday is somewhat problematic. More celebratory activity must therefore be packed into the workday. However, I’m not allowed to wear a costume to work. I’m debating whether this applies to the Wonder Woman dress I’ve worn several times to the office already with no one batting an eye…and whether or not I can get away with adding some big boots and a tiara without pushing the envelope too much. It might be asking too much to have them overlook the Six-Foot-Five Amazon in heeled boots with a sword.  I mean, I could maybe leave the shield at home and store the sword in the back of the dress? That’s totally Amazon-kosher, right? And maybe forgo the gauntlets…although those are like the most important bullet-blocking part.

Always Prepared! Like the Girl Scouts, but with better accessories.

I don’t know how likely the need to block bullets will happen in an office of engineers, but one must always be prepared for these things as a Amazon. With short purple hair.

…yeah, okay, maybe it doesn’t have to be entirely screen-accurate.